October, 16th

My Sweet,

I left the hospital and this scant progress seems a victory to me. I can walk alone a few steps, I’m beginning more seriously the rehabilitation in this new place. People are pretty nice, even if some of them have been there for a long time. Many of them are very disabled, and I feel lucky to know that after all my efforts, I’ll be able to stand straight and walk normally. I’ll leave soon, I’ll return to my previous life. 

My Sweet, I miss you. Your absence is a hollow, deep inside me. I got no news from you since you left my bedside. The others told me about you. I have not seen you, I have not felt you, I do not remember your stay. A nurse murmured me you seemed sad. Everybody panicked around me, my parents stayed, worried, asking thousands of questions. You came here, you left, and you seemed sad. That is all I know. 

My Sweet, nothing is over. You can come back. The words which have ended our story, I never pronounced them. I did not say you the sentences of our separation, I did not cross the Rubicon. 

Nothing is lost, you can come back and we will return to our previous life. Our life. Together. 
I’m not so damaged, you know. I have scars, of course, but doctors told me that they are treatable too. In a few months, I will be new, without any marks. Everything will be forgotten. And I will have completed my thesis. I work as hard as I can. My supervisor thinks I could present it next September and then, get a job in an interesting unit. My work is progressing too. 

My Sweet, I miss your fantasy, your fancy. I need your disorder in my life. Here, everything is dull and lifeless. Everything comes from blissful kindness and solicitude. My Sweet, your unsatisfied energy filled me with happiness, did I tell you this enough? My Sweet, I get lost in this cushy and comfortable world which is not mine. I want our fights, I want our cries, I want your sighs and your sobs of passion. 

In one month, I’ll be living my previous life. You have to come back, My Sweet, you have to come back and challenge my habits; you have to come back to me.

Samuel